Stress in Newsieland
by stress
Summary: READ CURIOUSER & CURIOUSER INSTEAD... NewsiesAlice in Wonderland Crossover Summary: When Stress goes outside to let of some steam, she follows a newsie into a world she never dreamed existed.
1. A Davey Bunny?...

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Disclaimer: It is at this time that I'd like to say that, in no way, do I stake claim on either  
  
the story/characters of Newsies or the story/characters of Alice in Wonderland. Capisce?  
  
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Slam. The door shut tight behind the girl as she stormed out of her house. Brushing her long blondish brown curls out of her face as she stomped in the direction of the nearby trees, she scowled angrily and held the small brown and white rabbit tightly in her arms.  
  
  
  
"Why today?," she cried to the chirping bluebirds in the nearby oak trees, "Why did Kathryn have to have her dance recital today? Today of all days, no less!" She flung herself down onto the grass, ignoring the grass stains on her jeans, as she held onto the rabbit's leash. She sat in silence for a moment, picking up a blade or two of grass at a time, then flinging them down carelessly. "Why couldn't it wait until after my Newsies Rally?" The girl, nicknamed Stress to those in the Newsieverse, had been looking forward to the Rally all summer long. Up until this morning that is; that's when her mother informed her that Kat's dance recital came first. "Why did they change the day, now? Lancie, do you know?" Stress picked up her bunny and looked him in the eyes.  
  
  
  
The only answer to her questions was the incessant tweets from the birds.  
  
  
  
Stress sighed and placed Lancie back down, where he went back to eating the grass. Stress stroked his ears a few times before she laid down on her back, her yellow-green eyes focusing on the shapes of the above clouds. But her mind was not on the clouds; instead she was thinking about the Newsies Rally that would be happening in New York City in a few hours time. And how she was going to miss it due to her younger sister's dance recital.  
  
  
  
Stress shook her head and propped herself on her elbows, setting her gaze upon the clearing in the woods. In her backyard there was a line of trees, but once you got out of the mini-woods there was a large field. Usually there were other kids in the neighborhood at play, especially since it was summertime, but today there was no one outside but her. "I guess everyone else is feeling miserable too." she huffed, not tearing her eyes from the peaceful scene.  
  
  
  
How long she sat there staring at the field, she didn't know. Nothing broke her concentration as she tuned out everything around her. Then it happened.  
  
  
  
Something was hopping across the field in front of her, but too far away for her to distinguish who -or what- it was. Checking to make sure that Lancie's leash was secured tightly to his collar, Stress tied the other end of the leash to a nearby tree. When she was positive that Lancie wouldn't run away or be bunny-napped, she headed out to the clearing to see who it was that was hopping in her backyard.  
  
  
  
When she got close enough to see who it was, Stress' stopped and her mouth dropped open. It was a boy, a boy with curly brown hair, who was dressed in turn of the century newsboy garb, carrying a gold pocket watch. But that's not what made Stress stop and stare. It was the fact that the boy was a dead-ringer for David Jacobs!  
  
  
  
"Hey, dude, wait up!" she called, rushing forward.  
  
  
  
Davey ignored her calls, instead opening the lid to his gold pocket watch and shrieking out loud, "It's gettin' late!", before hopping away.  
  
  
  
Stress stopped for a moment, laughing to herself at Davey's hopping, before following him. "Shoot!" she cursed when she no longer some him in the clearing. Still walking on the same path that Davey had just hopped down, she mumbled to herself. "Now I'll never know if that was Davey or not. But why would he be here? He's just a character from a movie, right? I mean, there are no such things as newsies in the year 2002, riiiiiiiiii---"  
  
  
  
The rest of her questions to herself were cut off when she stumbled down a large hole - a hole that had never been there before!  
  
  
  
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Did you like it so far? I hope so! More to follow if I get some reviews. Mwahahaha! 


	2. Free Fallin'...

Hiya! Here is the next part of Stress in Newsieland, dedicated to .  
  
IRIS  
  
For being the only reviewer! Chocolate covered Spot for you!  
  
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Stress looked all around her as the time seem to come to a stop. She was falling down the hole, yet falling ever so slowly. "Wow..." she murmured as she slapped her arms wildly, trying to fly back up. It didn't work.  
  
  
  
"O.K., that didn't work." Stress looked below her and saw nothing but darkness. "What if I never stop falling?" she panicked as she continued to glide downwards. All of a sudden a light sparked around her and she saw that there were books on shelves, a grandfather clock, a bowl of fruit and other odds and ends that one would find in a home. "That's strange. I thought that dark holes underground would be empty. Shows how much I know." Shrugging her shoulders as she continued to fall, Stress reached out to the bookshelves and snatched at a book.  
  
  
  
"Jeez..." she exclaimed as she tossed the book over her shoulder. It was "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll. "Of course the hole has to have a sense of humor." she muttered as she turned a flip mid-air.  
  
  
  
As she fell downwards, her feet pointing to the ceiling, her long curls extending down, she began to wonder where the hole would lead her. "When Alice fell down the rabbit hole she landed in Wonderland. Since I fell down a Newsie hole, where we I end up?" She shook her head in disbelief. A newsie hole? "I think I've seen Newsies one too many times if I think I fell down a newsie hole." she said to no one in particular.  
  
  
  
Stress was just about to debate whether or not this hole would lead to China or Australia when all of a sudden, the bottom appeared.  
  
  
  
"Ouch!" she screeched as she landed flat on her bum. Her pain disappeared momentarily when she saw Davey, or who she assumed was Davey, running ahead in the distance.  
  
  
  
"Hey, buddy!" she called, brushing the dirt off of her jeans and beginning to dash forward, "Yo, wait for me!"  
  
  
  
The only response she got was a faint "It's gettin' late" and the click of a slamming door.  
  
  
  
"Ew, rude much? I fall down that weird ass hole just to speak to that dude and he tells me 'it's gettin' late'. He'll wish it was much later when I get my hands on that kid!" she fumed as she stalked forward, barely noticing her surroundings. She was in a tunnel of some sort, but a tunnel with pink and purple polka dots.  
  
  
  
Stress continued to make her way to the end of the tunnel until she found herself facing a large brown door. "Hmm... Looks just my closet door." she remarked as she reached for the doorknob. After swinging the door open, Stress cursed under her breath to see another, though smaller, brown door. She bent down to grasp the golden knob and in turn opened that door. "What the--" she muttered when she found that there was another door, still smaller but green in color.  
  
  
  
Growing impatient, and dying to get her hands on the rude boy, Stress went about opening four more doors until she found herself in front of a doll- sized white door with a small key hole and brown door handle. Unlike the seven other doors before it, this door was locked. "Shoot!" she muttered, looking around for another way out of the tunnel. Unfortunately, during the time Stress had spent opening seven doors, a wall had grown behind her, trapping her in a small room.  
  
  
  
"Nuh-uh, time out! That ain't fair! You can't trap me in here!" she yelled in annoyance at realizing that she was, in fact, trapped.  
  
  
  
When no one responded Stress turned back to face the white door. She jiggled the handle violently, and when it didn't give, she slumped against the wall in frustration. Stress tucked her head in her lap for a few minutes and sat still while wishing she was back in New Jersey. Suddenly, though, she looked up when a loud thump was heard.  
  
  
  
"Hey Davey, are you back?" she asked out loud, before raising her head. "You're not Davey." she acknowledged when she saw that it wasn't the newsie, but a waist-high glass table, that had joined her in the small room.  
  
  
  
"Curious." she whispered as she stood to inspect the new arrival. "What's this?" Stress extended her hand and picked up a glass bottle of blood-red liquid that had just popped into existence once she had risen and approached the table. She picked up the card it had been resting on and read it out loud. "'Drink Me.' Sure, I'm gonna drink out of a bottle that appeared out of thin air into a room I've been trapped in. O.K., whatever you say."  
  
  
  
Stress set the bottle back down and returned to the corner she had been moping in. After a few more minutes of resting in her previous position, she heard the thump again. She lifted her head warily, giving the table the evil eye. "What do you want now?" she moaned at it.  
  
  
  
The table just glistened in the artificial light that was flooding the room.  
  
  
  
Stress stood once more and just stared at the table and the bottle still sitting upon it. Shrugging, she reached out and picked up the bottle and the card. She stifled a giggle when she read the card. It now read "Drink Me, Please." "Can't argue with a polite bottle, right?"  
  
  
  
With that Stress lifted the bottle to her lips and drank the entire bottle in three gulps. "Mmmm", she murmured while licking her lips, "tastes just like chicken."  
  
  
  
When nothing happened after she downed the bottle's contents, she shook her head and began to pace the small room. "What was I expecting, to shrink down to three inches tall? Whatever."  
  
  
  
Once the words were out of her mouth, Stress felt her tummy begin to rumble. The rumbling subsided after a few moments, but something even more interesting happened next.  
  
  
  
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And yes, I still love the cliffhanger : ) 


	3. She Shrunk...

Woo Hoo, more ficcy! But first, some Thank You's:  
  
~ Stage *proudly accepts loon league button* Thanks! I'll wear it proudly!  
  
~ FictionHobbit: Sure, take your pick! Chocolate covered Newsies for everyone!  
  
~ Iris: Yup, I got your e-mail. *tosses you your newsies* And here are Race and Bum for you!  
  
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She shrunk.  
  
  
  
Yup, she shrunk down to exactly six inches tall, just the height to reach the door handle if she stood on her tippy-toes. "Woo Hoo, now I can get out of this tiny little room. I was getting claustrophobic." She reached up and jiggled the handle slightly. It was then she remembered that the door was still locked.  
  
  
  
"Shoot, what do I do now?" Stress looked all around the floor, the walls, the ceiling and the table. That's when she saw it. All the way up, up on top of the glass table, was a key. "Hey, that wasn't there a minute ago." she pouted as she tried to climb up the slippery glass leg of the table. As she slid back down, she noted to herself "So, that's why I never got an A in gym class."  
  
  
  
She tried twelve more times, each time sliding back down to land on her rear. On the thirteenth try, when she fell off and landed on her butt, she got up and proceeded to kick the table. "If you can make a bottle of weird shrinky stuff appear, and then a key, you can figure out how to get that key down to me." she scolded, waving her left finger at the table, while hopping around and clutching her now sore foot with her right hand.  
  
  
  
Whether the table understood her complaints or not, as she continued to hop around like an idiot, she tripped over a small cardboard box that had appeared out of nowhere directly behind her.  
  
  
  
"Ouch!" she exclaimed as she landed on her tush again. Rubbing her backside furiously, Stress leaned over and picked up the box she had tripped over. She lifted the lid slowly and was pleased to see that there were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies cooling in the box. "Mmmm...cookies..." she drooled, reaching eagerly in the box. The cookies didn't even need to have the words "Eat Me" spelled out in chocolate chips like they did; Stress inhaled them immediately.  
  
  
  
"Mmm.Yummy cookies - Burp - Excuse me." Stress patted her stomach as she sat down next to the base of the table. "I wish there were some moooooooooore. Whoah!" The word "more" was drawn out because at that exact moment, Stress went from six inches high to about sixty feet tall.  
  
  
  
Shocked and surprised at her sudden growth spurt, Stress just stared down at her feet in amazement. "At least the room expanded with me." She whispered in marvel when she noted that the ceiling, only about eight feet tall a moment ago, was now about eighty feet tall. She squinted slightly and was just able to make out the sparkling glass table right next to her left foot. "And hey, I can reach the key now. But- wait, what good will the key do, I doubt my pinkie could fit through that tiny door now!"  
  
  
  
Stress' jaw dropped open as realization dawned on her. She was stuck. And she wasn't just stuck because she couldn't leave the room; she was stuck in a fashion that meant if her nose was itchy, she wouldn't be able to scratch the itch.  
  
  
  
Like always, once you start to think of a way to make your situation worse, it happens. "Shoot, I can't scratch my nosey. And it itches soooo bad. What am I gonna do?" Enormous tear drops began spilling from her cheeks and she sobbed her heart out. "I need to scratch." she moaned to herself as she tried feverishly to raise her gigantic hand to her face. But to no avail, her nose remained itchy.  
  
  
  
She sobbed and sobbed until she saw the tiny white door open. Curiosity got the better of her and she stopped her crying for a moment. Not like it really mattered, she had already made an Olympic size swimming pool with her tears.  
  
  
  
"What's dis?" came a voice, wading through the small lake.  
  
  
  
Stress squinted her eyes again, and smiled when she saw who it was. "Davey?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The newsie looked down at his pocket watch real quick, then put it away and drew out a carrot from his pocket. "Mmm.Lunch.Oh, I'm sorry. Do I know you'se? Me name is David, David Jacobs."  
  
  
  
If it wasn't for the fact that she was about ten times her normal size, Stress probably would have jumped for joy. Not only was she not crazy for thinking she had fallen down a newsie hole, but she was meeting Davey Jacobs! "I know."  
  
  
  
Davey swam/hopped over to the glass table that was floating in the water. Once he jumped up onto the table and was able to refrain from getting soaked, he looked up at the giantess before him. "Are you'se cryin'?"  
  
  
  
Stress rolled her eyes before answering his question. "Well, duh. Wouldn't you if you were sixty feet tall and trapped in a room, in a place that you fell from a hole into? I mean, where the hell am I?"  
  
  
  
Davey looked down at his pocket watch again, while finishing off the rest of his carrot. "It's getting' late." He hopped off of the table, pocketing the key that was sitting on the table as he did so. "The King of Hearts always gets so nervous when his precious key pulls it's disappearing act." He explained to Stress as he tried to make his way back to the white door from where he had entered.  
  
  
  
"Wait, don't go. I need help!" Stress forgot her pleasure at meeting a newsie once she realized that Davey was going to leave her there alone.  
  
  
  
"Lissen, ma'am. Da King an' Queen o' Hearts heah in Newsieland ain't two o' da most patient people if ya catch me drift. I'se awlready late an' I gotta be headin' back. But heah, dis may be o' some help." Davey took off his blue shirt and tossed it up into the air. "G'bye." He called before exiting through the white door.  
  
  
  
Stress just watched as the blue shirt just hung mid-air. "Sure, some tiny little bunny-boy's shirt is gonna help me get back to normal and escape from this room."  
  
  
  
All of a sudden though, she began to shrink back to normal. "What the .?" She looked down and realized that the blue shirt was no longer floating mid- air. Instead she was wearing it! "This shirt must be making me grow smaller." She yanked it off frantically, frightened that she might shrink into nothingness.  
  
  
  
Once the shirt was removed, though, she continued to shrink at an alarming rate. "What else could be making me shrink?" she panicked as she looked down at herself. Nope, still the same white tank top, white keds and faded blue jeans that she donned that morning. "Wait, what's this?" she wondered out loud as she felt the weight of something on her head. She ripped the object from her head and dropped it into the water. It was a brown newsies hat.  
  
  
  
Once the hat was floating around lazily in the water, Stress stopped shrinking. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done. She was now about three inches tall and that was pretty much it.  
  
  
  
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That's it for today. Ya wanna review it for me now? Thanks! 


	4. A Caucus Race...

Woo Hoo! More ficcy!! Yippee-doodle-day!! O.K., I'm a little tired so don't mind me * grins * And if this part stinks, it's cause I * just * finished it like two seconds ago so that I had some sort of fic to send out today, so feel loved! * MWAH * And special Newsie Hugs to:  
  
~ ST  
  
~ Fiction Hobbit  
  
And now onto the next part of the story!  
  
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Disclaimer: I do not own South, Flirt, Lacey or Prankster. They were just awesome enough to be in my story!  
  
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Chapter 4 ~  
  
Stress began to tread the water, trying her damndest not to drown in her own tears. "I'm sure they would all get a kick out of that. The idiot who cried herself to death." She muttered, looking around for something to grab onto. "Voila!" she exclaimed and doggy paddled over to the polite glass bottle from before. Luckily the bottle was about four inches tall, so it was the perfect size for Stress to climb inside in order to not drown.  
  
  
  
"Damn, this is interesting. I am now three inches tall and am sitting in a bottle. I never would have guessed that that would be how I would spend the day. Wow." Stress continued to ramble on to herself until she noticed something.  
  
  
  
"You know what, I think that this bottle might be small enough to fit through the keyhole on that door. Then I wouldn't be trapped in this weird room anymore and I can explore, what did Davey call this place again? Oh, yeah, Newsieland. Newsieland?! What?!" Stress stopped for a moment when she realized what Davey had called this place. "Well, it's bound to be better than sitting through Kat's dance recital, right?"  
  
  
  
Stress stood on her tip-toes and reached outside of the bottle. Then, using her arms as paddles, she rowed her way over to the door. Just as she had expected, the bottle slid through the hole easily.  
  
  
  
On the other side of the door, there was water, but not as much as there was in the little room. "Damn, I must have really cried a lot if it's flooded out here as well" she whispered to herself before gasping out loud.  
  
  
  
A little way out, and a little to her right, there was a group of three people, all about her size, surrounding a single girl with curly blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. "Hey!" Stress called out to the people in the middle of the city's street, trying to get their attention.  
  
  
  
It worked.  
  
  
  
The group of people all stopped for a moment and waited for Stress to maneuver her bottle to where they were standing. Once she ran out of water to sail her bottle on, Stress climbed out and ran to the other people.  
  
  
  
The one girl standing opposite of the others walked forward, crossed the street and extended her hand. "Hiya there, are you wet?"  
  
  
  
Stress looked down at her clothes, crossing her arms over her chest when she realized that her white tank top was now see through, and rolled her eyes. "Duh."  
  
  
  
The girl walked around Stress once and asked "Why?"  
  
  
  
"Why what?" Stress looked to the three girls, the ones who were watching the blonde circle Stress, for help.  
  
  
  
"Flirt wants to know why you're wet." said one of the girls, a girl with long brown hair and blue eyes, as she pointed to the blonde.  
  
  
  
"I'm wet? Oh yes, I suppose I am." Stress was getting extremely confused talking to these girls.  
  
  
  
"Why?" Flirt stopped circling Stress and repeated her question.  
  
  
  
"Why what?"  
  
  
  
"Why are you wet?" This time it was a girl with strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes asking the question.  
  
  
  
"Wait a sec-- Didn't we just go through this?" Stress rubbed her temples, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
  
  
Rolling her eyes now, the third girl stepped forward and opened her mouth to speak. "I have an idea. Why don't we just start over? Hello, my name is South, this is Lacey,"she announced as she pointed to the girl with brown hair, "this is Prankster," she added, now pointing to the girl with strawberry blonde hair, "and I think you've met Flirt. On behalf of all of us, I'd just like to say 'Welcome to Newsieland'."  
  
  
  
Flirt stepped forward. "Thanks for the introductions, South. I'll take it from here."  
  
  
  
South shrugged and took a step back. Stress looked at each one of the girls in turn and then plopped herself on the ground. "I'm cold and I'm wet and I'm stuck with a whole mess of loonies who think they live in Newsieland. Great, just great!"  
  
  
  
"You're wet? Why didnn't you say so! I know just the thing to get you dry." Flirt jumped up and down, clapping her hands excitedly.  
  
  
  
Stress looked over at Flirt expectantly, awaiting her plan to get her dry. When Flirt continued to just jump up and down, Stress turned to look at South, Prankster and Lacey. "Do you guys know?"  
  
  
  
"Heya, Flirt. What's your great idea?" questioned Prankster as she put her hand on Flirt's shoulder so as to stop her repeated jumping.  
  
  
  
"A caucus race!" Flirt exclaimed with a genuine smile.  
  
  
  
"A caucus race?" asked Stress.  
  
  
  
"A caucus race." affirmed Flirt as she nodded and motioned to the other girls to join her.  
  
  
  
"What's a caucus race?" Stress grabbed the ends of her long hair and tried to wring the excess water from it as she looked over at Flirt, puzzlement written all over her face.  
  
  
  
"The best way to explain what a caucus race is is to just do it." Flirt cried, raising her arm over her head. "Are you girls ready? O.K., on the count of three. One...two...three!" She dropped her arm and began running.  
  
  
  
Stress watched in amazment as Flirt, Lacey, Prankster and South all began to run around this way and that, zigging and zagging in and out, running in circles and in squares. "What the...?" she remarked to herself.  
  
  
  
"You'll never get dry that way. You gotta run with the others!" called Flirt as she ran up behind Stress and prodded her in the backside. Stress squealed and then began to run in the same sort of fashion as the rest.  
  
  
  
As she ran past the spot where Lacey and Prankster where pulling at each other, trying to keep the other one from reaching the streetlight outside, she remarked, "You guys are cheating!"  
  
  
  
Flirt twirled passed her then, giggling. "That, my friend, is a caucus race!"  
  
  
  
All of a sudden South stopped and pointed to a large statue of Horace Greeley that was in the middle of the square. "The finishing statue!" she called, flinging her arms over her head in victory. "Who's won? Me? Did I win?"  
  
  
  
Flirt leapt forward and, mimicking South's gesture with her own arms, exclaimed "I think that everybody won!"  
  
  
  
Lacey scratched her head. "Well, if we all won, we should all get prizes, right?"  
  
  
  
"Of course! But, wait, who will give out the prizes?" asked Prankster.  
  
  
  
"Why, the new girl, of course!" Flirt stated matter-of-factly.  
  
  
  
Prankster, Lacey, South and Flirt all turned to look at Stress, their hands outstretched as they waited for their prizes.  
  
  
  
Stress groped around her pockets and her eyes lit up when she found something that was prize worthy in her back pocket. "Here you go." She pulled out a pack of Big Red chewing gum and handed each of the girls a stick of the gum. "Enjoy!"  
  
  
  
Each one grabbed at her prize eagerly, not even bothering to say thank you. Once they had each received their prize, they promptly started walking away from her.  
  
  
  
"Wait a second. Where are you going? Don't leave me here alone!" she called after them. But alas, they did not answer her. "Great, now I'm alone again."  
  
  
  
No sooner where the words out of her mouth did she hear footsteps right behind her.  
  
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Now all you gotta do is press the little button right there. You don't hafta necessarily review the story, just say hi so I know that * someone * is reading this! Please? : ) 


	5. Sarah?!...

**Author's Note: Wow, I almost forgot about this story.  *ducks guilty looks* Sorry.  Well, here's some more!**

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**Chapter 5 ~**

The hair on her arms stood up and she nervously started to walk away.  "If I don't see who it is, they can't do anything right?" she muttered to herself, beginning to wish she had just stayed in that claustrophobic little room.  It may have been small, but she was safe.  Or at least as safe as she could be in this strange place.

Stress continued walking and breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the footsteps die away.  "Phew..."  She stopped for a second to catch her bearings.  When she looked up she found herself facing a large white house.  "Wow, nice house.  I wonder who lives here?"  Unfortunately, though, she didn't have long to wonder because, as she approached the white picket fence around the house, she heard someone call to her.   "Sarah?!"

Stress turned around abruptly, wondering why someone was calling her Sarah.  Standing right behind her was Davey, the agitated bunny! "Sarah, what are ya doin' outside o' da house?" he asked, staring right at her.

She was about to argue that he was a loco bunny when she decided that the argument would be useless.  "I don't know."

"Well, Sarah, I seemed ta misplace me shoit an' newsies hat.  Run inside o' da house an' fetch me some new ones." Davey started hopping in place as he pointed up the walk towards the house.

Stress rolled her eyes at his antics and began to walk towards the house.  "He's treatin' me like his slave." she muttered as she opened the front door and entered the house.  "Wow, for a bunny he lives awfully well."  Gaping in awe at all the cool looking rabbit things in the house, Stress went up the stairs and entered what she believed was his bedroom.  After looking in the large door marked "closet", she found a large stack of freshly laundered blue button-up shirts and brown newsie hats.  Grabbing one of each from the piles, she shut the closet door and began to make her way out of the bedroom.

"What's this?" she said to herself as she noticed another bottle of red liquid sitting on his dresser.  "This doesn't say 'drink me' like the other bottle, but I'm so thirsty.  And besides, I hate being so short.  I want to be my height again."   After Stress had finished talking herself into drinking the bottle's contents, she downed it.  "Blech-- That stuff is nasty." She tossed the empty bottle to the side and headed down the steps.  "And nothing interesting happened at all!"

Just as she was about to open the front door to Davey's house so she could give him his clothes, Stress felt a strange tingle go through her body.  "Oopsie, spoke too soon." she muttered as she grew ten times her size-- again.

Considering she was inside a rabbit's house when she enlarged, it was no wonder that she was now trapped.  And, with her gigantic foot pressed against the door, no one could come inside the house either.

Meanwhile, Davey was getting a little bit nervous.  "What is takin' Sarah so long ta get me shoit an' hat?"  He hopped over to the door and tried to wiggle it open.  "What da --- Aahhhh!!" When Davey had turned to peek in the window of his home to see why his door would be jammed, he came face to face with a surprise.  Stress' huge arm was hanging out the window!  "Snipes!"

"What's da mattah, boss?" a deep-voiced kid walked around from the back of the house, a cigar in his mouth.

"Snipes, didja steal Race's cigahs 'gain?" Davey asked, forgetting about the arm for a moment.

"Naw, I found 'em fer a quartah somewheah."

"Oh, O.K..  By da way, what's dat?" he asked, gesturing towards the arm.

"Why, dat's an arm, boss." Snipeshooter puffed on his cigar and walked over to the arm.

"Who's evah seen an arm dat big befoah?" Davey asked, scratching his head.

"No one, I'se shoah, but it's still an arm, boss."

"Well, I don't want an arm stickin' outta me window.  Get rid o' it!"

"Me, boss?" Snipes asked as he tossed his cigar onto the ground and pointed at his chest.

  
"Yeah, you'se.  Ya ain't 'fraid, are ya, Snipes?"

"Naw, I ain't 'fraid but I'se too tiahed ta remove such a big arm.  Big pokah game wit' da fellas last night." 

"What's goin' on, heah?" Boots questioned as he walked by the house, conveniently carrying a ladder.

"Boots, I need ya help!  Put dat laddah up 'gainst da wall." Davey instructed.

"What fer, boss?  An' what's dat?" Boots asked.  He had just noticed Stress' arm sticking out of the window.

  
"Will someone please help me out of here?" she called.

The three boys ignored her yell.  "Boots, I need ya ta go up dat laddah, climb in da chimney, shimmie down an' see who's in da house."

Boots thought about it for a second.  "O.K."  Boots shrugged his shoulder and scurried up the ladder.

"I don't think so," shouted Stress as she positioned her other foot inside the chimney.  Once she felt Boots right above her shoe, she kicked.

"Aaaaahhhh!!" he yelled as he went flying into the air and landed just outside the picket fence in Davey's front yard.

"Boots, are you'se O.K.?" Snipes asked as he and Davey rushed to Boots' side. 

"It was awful!  I went down the chimney like the boss said ta an' once I got inside sumting kicked me an' up I goes." 

Davey shook his head.  "Well, in dat case I guess deah's only one t'ing left ta do.  We'se gonna hafta boin down da house."

"No, you don't.  You are not going to burn down the house while I'm inside!" Stress yelled, banging her hand on the ground outside.

Once again, though, the boys ignored her yells.  Each one picked up a handful of flammable pebbles and threw them through the window.

"Ouch, stop it.  That hurts!" she shrieked as the pebbles pelted her on the face, the arms and the torso.  She stopped shrieking when she noticed that once the pebbles hit the ground they turned into cupcakes.  "Mmm... Cupcakes..." She maneuvered the one hand that was still inside the house over to where the cupcakes lay.  Picking up a few, she tossed them inside her mouth and swallowed.  "Mmm... Yummy cupcakes." 

Then it happened again.  All at once she began to shrink until she was only barely a few inches tall.  When she noticed her shrunken state, Stress hurriedly ran from the house.  She didn't want to be around when they noticed that they had burned down the house for no reason.


	6. Race the Caterpillar...

**Author's Note:  Nothing really to say except for Thank You to ~**

~ Anne

~ Storyteller

~ Bookie – No!! Don't take my Jack away!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Chapter 6  ~ **

Stress continued running, long after she had left the vicinity of David's house.  She stumbled and tripped in the grass and on the pebbles in her path, cursing her luck the entire way.  "Why did I have to drink that stuff in the rabbit's house?  Now I'm shorter than a blade of grass!"  

And she was.  As she stopped to take a breath, she leaned against a single blade of grass that was easily an inch or so taller than she.  "Darn, darn, double darn.  I can't bel-- Wait a second, what is that?"  Coming from an area a few feet from where she was standing was a whole mess of thick smoke.  "I thought I left that house and that fire behind me.  How the heck did it get in front of me?"

Stress stretched her legs for a second before jogging towards the place where the smoke was originating.  She slowed her jog to a trot when she saw that there wasn't a house in front of her.  Instead, sitting on a mushroom, was a small caterpillar with dark hair, wearing plaid pants and smoking a cigar.  A small caterpillar with dark hair, wearing plaid pants and smoking a cigar?  Since when do caterpillars wear clothes and smoke cigars?  Stress didn't know but she was going to find out!

"Excuse me sir, but who are you?" 

The caterpillar looked her up and down and inhaled on his large cigar.  "Me name is Racetrack da caterpillah.  Who are you'se?"

"To be perfectly honest with you, Race - can I call you Race? - I don't right now." Stress confessed as she sat on acorn that lay at the foot of Race's mushroom.

"Well, lemme tell ya goily, if you'se don't know, I shoah as hell don't know."  Race took another puff on his cigar and exhaled an orange smoke ring.

Stress stared in marvel at his orange smoke ring before shaking his head.  "I knew who I was when I woke up this morning but I've been changed a few times since then."

"What da hell does dat mean?"

"It means exactly what I said.  Up until this morning, I've always been around the same size.  Now, look at me.  I've been so many different sizes in one day that I'm so confused."

"Oh."  Race took another puff on his cigar, this time blowing out three blue smoke rings, all intertwined.

"I hate change," she continued as she walked forward and put her fingers through the smoke rings, "and all there has been in this place is change, change, change.  If you were to change, into a butterfly, maybe, wouldn't you be all PMS-y?"

"No, don't t'ink so."

"Well, I know that I am.  I just want to be a fixed size, once and for all!"

Race looked down at Stress and blue green smoke into her face.  "What size do ya wanna be?"

Stress was taken aback by his question.  She had thought that he had stopped listening to her.  "I would like to be a little taller.  Three inches is such a horrid height to be."

At her words, Race's face lost it's green caterpillar tint as it burned red.  "I'se exactly t'ree inches high, goily an' I--"  All of a sudden there was a big puff of smoke, more than his cigar could ever allow, and Race was gone.  All that was left on the mushroom was a cigar butt.

  
"Race?  Racetrack?  Mr. Caterpillar?" Stress called as she looked around for him.

"Hey, goily," came a voice from high above her.

She looked up and smiled when she saw that Race had transformed into a plaid colored butterfly.  "How do you feel, Butterfly Race?  Do you like the change?"

Race ignored her and flapped one of his wings toward the mushroom that he had been sitting on.  "One side'll make ya tallah an' da uddah side'll make ya smallah."

"Huh?  What are you talking about Butterfly Race?  One side o' what?"

"Da mushroom, genius.  Ev'ryt'ing gots a poipose, even in Newsieland."  And with that, the Butterfly Race flapped his plaid wings and left Stress all by her lonesome.

"O.K., then.  In that case, I guess I better take some of this mushroom."  Stress walked over to one side of the mushroom and broke off a chunk.  Then she walked over to the other side and did the same thing.  "Of course it has to be mushrooms, though.  I hate mushrooms!"  She wrinkled her nose and took a tiny nibble from the mushroom in her left hand. 

She waited a moment and let out a cheer when she slowly, but surely, grew to her normal height once more.  "I better hold on to these.  They might just be worth something when I get back home." she noted as she put the mushrooms in her pocket, being careful not to mix up the "taller" shrooms and the "smaller" shrooms.

Now that she was her normal size again she looked around.  She was no longer on the dirty street that she had arrived on when she had left the cramped room.  She was now standing in front of another house - this one a mansion.


End file.
